Episode 26: Johnny Thunder and the Accidental Magic Word

Simon Carver

Welcome, listeners, to the twenty-sixth episode of Distinguished Comics Radio. It is Tuesday, July 8th, 1941, and I am broadcasting to you once again from a damp, chilly, and completely blacked-out London. Outside, the streets are dead quiet except for the low hum of shortwave radios delivering rather heavy news from the Eastern Front. Just this week, we have heard reports of German troops capturing Pskov and pushing deeper into Soviet territory. It is a time where the world feels, well, incredibly serious, and maybe a little too rigid. But over on the home front in the States, there is still this marvelous, bright energy. Why, just last week on July 1st, full commercial television service officially began in New York on WNBT, complete with that first legal Bulova watch commercial. Imagine that, a ten-dollar commercial on a television screen! And on the baseball diamonds, Joe DiMaggio has just extended his legendary hitting streak to forty-four games! To bring us some of that bright, beautiful domestic sunshine, we have my pragmatic partner broadcasting from our Chicago studio on KDCR. Robert, how are things looking in the Windy City?

Robert Reed

Holy cow, Simon! I'll tell you, Chicago is absolutely sizzling this July! We are keeping our ears glued to the radio for those shortwave updates, of course, but everyone down at the Cubs park is just buzzing. We are looking for something to put a smile on our faces, a little bit of good old-fashioned American slapstick. And boy, oh boy, do we have a treat for the folks tonight! We aren't looking at the spooky shadows of Gotham or the high-and-mighty ancient magic of Salem tonight. No, sir! We are talking about a fella who is, well, he is about as sharp as a bowl of wet oatmeal, but he might just be the luckiest guy in the world. We are diving headfirst into the spectacular, hilarious debut of Johnny Thunder!

Simon Carver

An absolutely delightful choice, Robert. Tonight is a very special broadcast because we are going to cover the entire early run of Johnny Thunder across Flash Comics numbers 1 through 13, All Star Comics number 2, and the 1940 New York World's Fair Comics. This is a character who represents a completely different kind of storytelling. Up until now, our mystery men have been highly trained, intensely focused, or armed with cosmic weapons they fully master. But Johnny? Johnny is a absolute goofball from the Bronx who has absolutely no idea he has the power of a demigod at his beck and call. And it all came from the minds of writer John B. Wentworth and artist Stan Aschmeier.

Robert Reed

Wentworth and Aschmeier, now there is a pair of fellas who know how to build a gag! You know, we talk a lot about the serious, dramatic stuff in these books, but making a cartoon strip that is actually funny, where the drawings themselves carry the joke, that takes some real craftsmanship. Aschmeier has this clean, expressive style that is just perfect for physical comedy. It is a long way from Howard Sherman's dark shadows, that's for sure. It's clean, bright, and-and-and, well, it's just plain fun! Simon, let us crack open that landmark Flash Comics number 1 from January 1940 and go panel-by-panel into this crazy origin!

Robert Reed

Alright, let us look at page one of Johnny's strip in Flash Comics number 1! We start with a narration box introducing Simon B. Thunder, a simple bank clerk who lives in a four-room cottage in the Bronx with his wife Mildred. They have an infant son whom they call Johnny. But then, boom! One night in August 1918, Simon comes home to find a huge crowd around his house. Mildred is hysterical, crying out, "Simon! Our Johnny's been kidnapped!"

Simon Carver

And the kidnapping itself is-is-is incredibly bizarre, Robert. The next few panels show the kidnappers doing something very peculiar to little baby Johnny. They pour a whole bottle of yellow dye on his head because they want to disguise him. One of them says, "Pour the whole bottle on him... we don't want any mistakes!" And they even notice he has a strawberry mark on his left shoulder. They laugh that his own parents won't be able to tell him from a little Badhnisian baby as soon as he is dry!

Robert Reed

Badhnisia! Now there is a fictional country for you! On page two, we see that a month later they have smuggled little Johnny thousands of miles away to the Temple of the Seven Great Gates to meet the Priest of Aissor. The priest is this old fella with a long white beard, looking very dramatic. The kidnappers tell him, "Here is the male child you sent us forth to get, most puissant guardian!" The priest asks if they are positive he was born according to the American calendar at 7:00 AM on the 7th of July, 1917, because they checked his birth certificate!

Simon Carver

It is incredibly precise, Robert! Seven AM on the seventh day of the seventh month of 1917. They dress little Johnny in the "Seven Emeralds of Strength," carry him through the Seven Great Gates, and lay him on the Altar of Aissor. And then, the crowd starts chanting these-these-these wild words: "Korpo Vashni-Shinoor Kaverly Perkish Shubeira Ralebierh Cei-U! Cei-U!" And the narrator tells us that "Cei-U" is the sacred magic word, which sounds in the American language exactly like "Say You"!

Robert Reed

"Say you!" Oh, that is the kicker, Simon! The old priest explains that because of this ceremony, when Johnny is seven years old, he will have the power to rule the world! But of course, things go haywire almost immediately. The neighboring country of Agolea starts a war with Badhnisia, and a nurse has to run off and hide Johnny in a fishing village north of Brunei, Borneo. By the time he is five, Johnny gets bored playing by himself, jumps in a small sailboat on the beach, and the tide carries him twenty-three miles out into the ocean!

Simon Carver

And that is where he is picked up by an American freighter called the "Eastern Seas"! The captain, a fella named Captain Kosher, sees this little kid in a boat and orders him brought aboard. They notice his hair is yellow at the ends but black near the scalp, and he has that strawberry mark on his left shoulder. So, they bring him back to the United States. Meanwhile, Johnny's father, Simon, has had a rough time. He lost his bank job, but finally got steady work as a streetcar conductor on the Third Avenue line. And-and-and, would you believe it, Johnny gets put on that very streetcar by a policeman!

Robert Reed

Talk about a small world! Simon B. Thunder sees the strawberry mark on Johnny's shoulder and cries out, "Where did you get this boy?" They realize he is their long-lost son, and Johnny is reunited with his family. But then we skip ahead to Johnny's seventh birthday. It rains cats and dogs for six whole days! On the seventh day, the neighbors are completely flooded out, but not a single drop of water touches the Thunder home! Johnny's belt is glowing strangely, and back in Badhnisia, the high priest realizes the ceremony was a success and Johnny now has the power, but Johnny has no idea!

Simon Carver

And that brings us to Johnny as a young man of twenty-three in 1939. He is looking for a job at the Kash n' Karry Department Stores. He gets hired as a window washer. The next morning, he is up on the window ledge, and he sees a coworker slipping. Johnny panics and says, "Say you! Sorry I don't know your name, but I forgot to bring a sponge... got an extra one?" And because he said "Say you," which sounds like "Cei-U," the magic word is triggered! A great big lightning bolt and a pink cloud appear, and the other window washer is suddenly floating in mid-air, completely defying gravity!

Robert Reed

The poor guy is just hanging there in the air, crying, "Omigosh! Stop! Stop!" and Johnny has no clue what is going on! Johnny says, "Hey! Are you going to leave me hanging here all day? You've got a mind of your own! Come on down!" And the moment Johnny says "Come on down," the magic spirit drops the guy right onto the pavement! Johnny gets blamed for the whole mess and gets fired on the spot! It is just pure, unadulterated comedy, Simon. And did you notice his outfit? No cape, no cowl. Just a pair of green overalls, a white shirt, and this ridiculous red tie with big black spots!

Simon Carver

It is the anti-costume, Robert! He looks like an ordinary, working-class kid from the Bronx who just wandered onto the page. He has none of the dignity of a hero, which makes the presence of that terrifying, all-powerful Thunderbolt in the pink cloud all the more hilarious.

Simon Carver

Now, as we move into Flash Comics numbers 2 through 6, John B. Wentworth really starts to find the rhythm of this strip. In the first issue, there was still this-this-this heavy, dramatic kidnapping plot with foreign agents from Badhnisia trying to track Johnny down. But very quickly, the series realizes that the real gold is in the comedy of errors. Johnny is constantly looking for work, constantly uttering "say you" in casual conversation, and the Thunderbolt is forced to carry out his literal, often ridiculous commands.

Robert Reed

Oh, the literal commands are the best part! In one of these early issues, Johnny is trying to be a detective, and he says something like, "Say, you ought to run like a rabbit!" to a tough guy, and the next thing you know, the crook is hopping down the street on all fours! It is like having a genie in a bottle, but you don't even know you're holding the bottle! And that brings us to Johnny's appearance in the New York World's Fair 1940 Comics. Simon, you must have loved this one, being a New York boy!

Simon Carver

Oh, absolutely, Robert! The 1940 World's Fair was-was-was such a symbol of optimism, with the Trylon and the Perisphere representing the "World of Tomorrow." But when Johnny Thunder shows up, the future gets a little messy. Johnny is visiting the fair, completely wide-eyed, and he stumbles into a plot involving some slick saboteurs trying to blow up the futuristic exhibits. He accidentally summons the Thunderbolt by saying his favorite phrase, and the spirit ends up dismantling the bomb and trapping the crooks in a giant display of modern machinery. It is this wonderful contrast between the polished, high-tech promise of the fair and Johnny's clumsy, old-school Bronx bumbling.

Robert Reed

It is like throwing a wrench into a grandfather clock, Simon! It is beautiful. And you can see how the art by Stan Aschmeier is evolving here too. In the beginning, he was trying to make the Badhnisians look a bit sinister, but by the time we get to the World's Fair and Flash number 5, the villains are cartoonish, wide-eyed mobsters who look like they belong in a Sunday comic strip. The action gets faster, the panels get cleaner, and the whole thing just zips along like a-a-a runaway streetcar!

Simon Carver

Yes, the pacing is incredibly brisk. Wentworth stops worrying about the complex backstory of Brunei and the Agoleans and just focuses on Johnny's daily struggles. He wants to buy a car, he wants to impress a girl, he wants to pay his rent. It-it-it grounds the fantasy in this very relatable, Depression-era hustle, even as a pink lightning-demon is tossing gangsters into the East River behind his back.

Robert Reed

That is the absolute beauty of it, Simon! By the time we hit Flash Comics numbers 7 through 10, Johnny is basically a one-man disaster area. In issue 7, he tries his hand at being a real estate salesman, and holy cow, he accidentally sells a haunted house to a bunch of kidnappers! He is just wandering around, trying to make a buck, saying, "Say, you should see the basement!" and the Thunderbolt physically drags the kidnappers down the stairs and locks them in! Johnny thinks he is just a-a-a super salesman!

Simon Carver

He really does! He has this supreme, misplaced confidence that his own natural charm and business savvy are what's solving these crimes. And the comedy of the Thunderbolt itself is-is-is just brilliant. Aschmeier draws the Thunderbolt as this crackling, pinkish-purple cloud of energy with a face, sometimes looking incredibly frustrated with Johnny's stupid orders. The spirit has to obey the literal words, even if they make no sense. If Johnny says, "Say, you guys should go jump in the lake," the Thunderbolt has to fly them over to the nearest body of water and drop them in!

Robert Reed

It is like a-a-a radio that only picks up one station, but that station is playing nothing but comedy records! You know, Simon, I think there is a real reason why people in 1940 and 1941 are loving this strip. With everything going on in Europe, and all the draft stuff and defense mobilization happening at home, everything feels so regimented. Everyone is being told what to do, where to march, how to prepare. But Johnny? He is the ultimate regular guy who just slips through the cracks of the system and wins anyway, completely by accident!

Simon Carver

That is a very deep point, Robert. It is the triumph of the-the-the uncoordinated individual over the giant, organized machine. In Flash Comics number 10, Johnny gets mixed up with high society, attending a fancy charity ball. He is completely out of his depth, tripping over carpets and spilling punch, but when a group of high-class jewel thieves tries to stick up the joint, Johnny's bumbling casual speech summons the Thunderbolt, who knocks the thieves cold with a bunch of floating silver platters. To the wealthy guests, Johnny looks like this brilliant, eccentric detective operating on some higher plane of genius!

Robert Reed

They think he is Sherlock Holmes in overalls! It is a scream, Simon. He is just standing there with his spotted tie askew, accepting a medal, while the pink cloud is probably behind the curtain, rubbing its temples and wishing it had a different boss. It is a wonderful formula, and Wentworth and Aschmeier just keep finding new ways to spin it.

Simon Carver

And that formula eventually gets so popular that Johnny gets invited to the big leagues! In All Star Comics number 2, which came out in the fall of 1940, Johnny joins the other mystery men in a massive, book-length adventure to stop a ring of foreign saboteurs. Now, we aren't going to talk about any big clubs or societies just yet, because that is a story for next week, but Johnny's solo chapter in All Star number 2 is a classic. He is trying to help the G-Men, but of course, he ends up-ends up completely confusing the federal agents while his Thunderbolt quietly rounds up the spy ring.

Robert Reed

He is a regular G-man's nightmare, Simon! But by golly, he gets the job done. And back in his solo strip in Flash Comics numbers 11 through 13, the stakes get even funnier. In issue 12, Johnny actually tries to join the Navy! Can you picture Johnny in a sailor suit? He is scrubbing the deck, says "say you" to a bucket, and the Thunderbolt ends up launching a torpedo right into a mock target, making Johnny look like a master marksman! It is just one bullseye after another, and the poor kid is just trying not to get seasick!

Simon Carver

It is the absolute pinnacle of Golden Age comedy. But Robert, our own radio transmitter is starting to run low on coal, and we have to prepare our listeners for what is coming down the track. For our next standard broadcast, we are finally going to cover the historic, monumental All Star Comics number 3! We will see Johnny and all our favorite heroes gather together for the first time. You won't want to miss that one, friends.

Robert Reed

Oh, it is going to be a real humdinger, Simon! Make sure your dials are locked in tight for that. And if you want to send us some mail, tell us your favorite Johnny Thunder panel, or just say hello, write to us at distinguishedcomicsradio@gmail.com!

Simon Carver

That is distinguishedcomicsradio@gmail.com. We also have to thank our mysterious, time-traveling patron, Mr. Moore, who keeps sending us those peculiar letters from the future. He claims that in his time, people can read these comics on pocket-sized television screens! What a wild imagination that fella has.

Robert Reed

He is living in the world of tomorrow, Simon! Well, keep your chin up, keep supporting the USO, and from a bright, sunny Chicago, this is Robert Reed saying keep your eyes on the funny pages!

Simon Carver

And from a quiet, dark London, where the stars are still shining, this is Simon Carver saying good night, keep your courage high, and we will see you on the next program!